I have many faults.
Many faults.
I am not perfect and I hope no one thinks I am because, at the end of the day, I'm human too.
And if I have to be honest, I can't possibly recount everything I failed at or did wrong. I can't possibly count every sin that I've committed; I mean there are probably sins that I did unintentionally because I can be stuck in my ways.
Or even intentionally because again, I can be stuck in my ways.
But something that gets me in a lot of trouble is my impatience.
This, I am aware of.
Because it not only affects me, but it affects others around me and impatience is one of my many faults.
An example of my impatience could go back as far as college, or even as far back as wanting a new car. I remember during college I had wanted a new car so bad and to be honest, I can't remember why.
I can't tell you how many people told me to be careful of what I asked for. They warned me that there was a lot of responsibility with a car, and they were right. You have to have insurance, you had to make payments on it monthly, and so many other things.
At the time when I wanted a new car, I had a 2002 Lincoln LS. It was gifted to me by my father when I went off to college. Though, I feel like he didn't want to give me a car initially.
Especially when I became a freshman in college and he told me that I didn't need a car at first.
I told him that I was going to get a job, and I'd walk to and from wherever I needed to until I got a car. For whatever reason, he seemed against me having one, but the point is I had wanted a car and got one when he eventually agreed (caved). But years later, I changed from wanting a car and getting one, to wanting a new car. I think I started having a lot of problems with that Lincoln and I was becoming dissatisfied with it.
Whatever the case may be, I remember one year I had wanted a new car and I applied for loans, and I got denied as quickly as I applied.
I was distraught.
Especially because the 2002 Lincoln, which was paid off and given to me, was having so many problems; it was in and out of the shop.
I couldn't figure out why I wasn't approved because I had good credit at the time. But I think it just wasn't God's timing back then and I see now that I wouldn't have been ready for it.
Because in 2020, after I graduated college, I was preparing to commute for a job and I had an actual need for a new car; I whole-heartedly believe that God came through because I was able to get what I wanted.
Even if it was years later.
Currently, it's 2022, and I'm still making payments on my car. However, I still love it. I just don't like paying for it. Seeing as we're on the topic of patience, I'm actually trying to fast-track paying it down.
Another example of my impatience would have to be with my time at a company that was not only in the area but in my field as well. The only problem was that I was still a temp at the time (2020) and had graduated college in 2018. I was there for about a year at said company, left for a year, and ended up commuting elsewhere, just to come back and still be a temp for another year.
That was rough.
It was really hard to be patient during that time period (2019 - 2021) because I did not become permanent until January 2022.
Not when I wanted to become permanent, but when God wanted me to become permanent.
To tell you the truth, I had given up deep down inside. I had accepted that I needed to move out of state and just when I was making preparations to do that, I saw something lining up for me.
For sure this time.
And it ended up working out.
But I still had something else I wanted to accomplish and that was marriage, and I think this was (and still is) my biggest battle of impatience yet.