The Dream
Everyone dreams of getting married.
Maybe not initially, but eventually.
And maybe "dream" isn't the word to use, maybe it's more like a fleeting thought that crosses your mind occasionally. Or maybe it's something you've found yourself curious about at least once.
Having the ideal partner to spend the rest of your life with, travel with, take on the world with, and raise a family with?
That sounds like a dream come true, doesn't it?
Having someone that you can trust 100% without fail.
That also sounds like a pretty nice dream.
Assuming things go right that is.
Now I'm not trying to be negative, but when do things ever go right? Life is full of challenges and trials and we ultimately have no say so in what we face.
We just know that things can get rough, you're not supposed to give up, and that when it rains...it pours.
I had this dream that I would have a nice engagement party, a small wedding, a fancy honeymoon, and the whole wedding experience. A dream that I would have a husband to travel with. Maybe you had a dream that you would have a BIG wedding and a BIG honeymoon.
Whatever the case may be, choose your partner wisely.
Whatever you think marriage is going to be like, it's not going to be that way.
Don't Be Blinded by The Perks
Some women, myself included, only think of the perks of being married or think of what could be. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in the vision or the dream that we don't consider important factors and consider our must-haves and things we would like out of our partner.
Things we don't want to compromise on.
Because that's what marriage is: compromise and sacrifice.
There is such a thing as compromising and sacrificing TOO much. Especially if there's only one person doing all the compromising and sacrificing in the relationship.
And by the time we realize how intense marriage can be, it's too late.
Let's say you married someone that you make more money than (by a long shot) and you're someone that wants to have a nice ring, a nice small wedding, and a honeymoon. Or you're someone that wants to travel and explore the world together while you're young. Or maybe you're someone that wants to have a date week at least once a week.
Marrying someone that isn't financially smart or responsible is not the best decision and you WILL suffer.
Whether he's constantly lending out money he doesn't have to family or friends, or maybe he's pouring excessive money into a car, or he's boggled down with debt.
Or maybe he simply doesn't know how to prioritize and is juggling way too many responsibilities and people.
That is something that will drain you and depress you.
Who do you think they're going to turn to for money?
YOU.
Who do you think is going to have to pick up the slack and your shared bills?
YOU.
And to clarify, it's NEVER a bad thing to help any one out. As long as they're trying and making an effort and as long as it's not crippling you. But you don't want it to be a frequent or a routine thing.
Now I get it, people will struggle from time to time.
But you also have to think about the type of environment you would want for your kids, if you want them.
It's probably not for the best to have a kid with someone that routinely struggles with money. Let's face it: you'll be taking care of two people and that will make motherhood a lot more harder than it has to be.
All I'm saying is really sit down and think about the things you really need out of a partner. And then imagine kids into the mix and see if that's something you can live with. If you can't, maybe there's some more assessment needed. Kids are innocent creatures that need to be cared for and loved in the best of environments possible!