The Mystery of Love
What is Love?
This small word carries so much weight. Not only that, but this word has so much versatility depending on who uses it. There are so many definitions for it, including biblically, but I'd like to think that we can all agree that love is hard.
For a reason I still haven't figured out, I thought it was going to be easy. I thought it was going to be magical. I thought that I was going to have one of those romantic setups where you marry your high school sweetheart, or you marry the boyfriend you end up dating in college.
Neither happened, by the way.
At least not for me, but it does happen for some people. There are probably plenty of people out there that did marry their high school sweetheart or their college sweetheart. However, at the age of 26, I find myself learning a lot of things about myself and still figuring out what love actually is.
I must admit that maybe I got caught up in the Disney romance movies or the romantic movies we see on Netflix and elsewhere. They make it all look so simplistic, and if there is any issue at all, it's usually solved before the end of the movie.
But when it comes time to actually love someone, it's not as cookie-cutter as it may seem or as we may want it.
Love is Work
I can't recall where I first heard this expression from, but I do know that it's true. I am learning it firsthand. I'm discovering that we are all imperfect beings trying to love another imperfect being - no one on this Earth is perfect. We are human and humans make mistakes; We are prone to mistakes and that is completely okay.
Again, I am still figuring things out about love, but I do know that everyone has their own preferences, what they're willing to tolerate or not tolerate, and what they expect from their partner, and so forth. At the end of the day, it takes work to get the person, it takes work to keep the person and it takes work to stay committed and dedicated.
To Me Love Is...
While love is indeed hard and a lot of work, I believe that if you find the right person, loving them will be worth it. I wish I would have had a different outlook as I have only just recently adopted this outlook. Anyway, before graduating college, I had it in my mind that I absolutely needed to date someone that had the same level of education as me, someone that had their own place, their own car, great credit score, the same beliefs, and a decent job; I probably had a bunch of other requirements too that I can't remember right now.
It was hard for me personally to find someone that had those things - not saying that having standards or preferences are wrong - and I was single for quite a while.
I know men often say that women have ridiculous and unrealistic standards, even (that's another topic for later), but it wasn't until I met someone completely different than me that my whole world was flipped. It was right around the time I started desiring a serious relationship, but when we met, I quickly found out that he didn't have much of what I wanted. It should be noted that around this time my "requirements" had shifted to "I'm only going to ask of the person what I have - nothing more and nothing less" because I realized I was being both hypocritical and a little shallow.
But even then, he didn't have what I asked for.
He had a completely different upbringing than me, a completely different path, and I struggled with that for the longest. I didn't know how to deal with someone that was literally the opposite of me. This was where I really started going through confusing times and trying to figure out what love is. This wasn't what I saw in the movies, what I saw for my friends, nor was it what society showed me.
However, he was one of the most forgiving and kindest guys I have ever met and he taught me a lot; even though I questioned a lot of things, questioned and struggled with him and how I thought things were supposed to be, I'm one step closer to learning what love really entails and that lesson is what made it worth it.
What is your definition of love? What makes love worth it to you? 'Til next time!